I Love A Dinosaur ♡

i never intended to come back here to write something again and i hope you'll never get to read this. however, in case you had the audacity to come back here, that's unfortunate.

i'm doing good myself (better than ever) and i feel a little reflective today. after thoroughly thinking about the events that had happened the last few weeks, i came to reckon that i've actually moved on, completely with little to no hard feelings. you're most probably still in my blocklist as you're reading this even though it's out of my character to cut someone off with no words and explanation at all. that was extremely unlike me. but in this case, i had my reasons, especially that we are now insignificant in each others' lives. maybe that's why i felt compelled to pen down some of my unspoken words here. if you're somehow curious, this may be the last time you'll ever hear from me again, or if you're muttering to yourself "tf is this b!#$& on about", i'm leaving these words here, not for you, but because i held onto them for too long. and i'm mostly doing this for this site to have some mysterious lore. lol.

i know you're quite ambitious, so i hope you become a better person and find what you're truly looking for. our friend P was brave enough to confront you yet it was far more than disappointing to know that you dodged her doubts with self-pity, even though all she wanted from you was the truth and clarity. i apologise if it hurt you that i told her what you did, however my honest judgement believed it was the right thing to do. it's not fair to leave her clueless when you , on the other hand, told her about all the issues you had in our rls yet you never had the guts to approach me. she was never meant to be the main catalyst of what we had, yet whenever i attempt to bring closure and let you open up to me, you constantly push me away, leave me on read and excuse yourself that you don't want to bother me. i don't know about you, but it hurted hearing everything from P instead of you yourself, and that further discouraged me to even initiate conversations with you.

you telling P that "the spark was gone" and rather than communicating with me, became affectionate with another girl instead, is absolutely diabolical. if you had such a high ego to cheat, at least have the decency to break up with me first. truly, i would've respected that. i appreciated how apologetic you were and you checking up on me once in a while after, but that doesn't change the damage that had been done, cheating is unjustifiable. your present struggles don't validate your actions, and in case you had no clue off the top of your head, i was also going through a lot and it's only a miracle that i was still alive. and for weeks, i hid the fact that you turned disloyal and it was burdening to carry that weight alone.

i don't hate you, i just accept that there are reasons why people are the way they are. if you truly meant it when you said you'd try to become better, at least take my words into consideration. your next girl will deserve better than your neglect. nevertheless, i’m thankful for the time when things felt genuine and mutual. i wasn’t the same person before i met you — but i’m also at peace knowing you’re no longer part of my life, because now, there’s room for others to come in and return the kind of love i've always had to give.

it was nice getting to know you. i hope you find your peace and i wish you well for your gcse exams.

ciao, ☆